Word for 2016: Fulfilled.

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At the end of every year I like to ask for a word for the coming year. It gives me something positive to focus on, to relax into, or to put my energy toward.

Last year it was ‘movement’ and boy was it eveerrr a year of movement! So many trips, and SO MUCH activity. So much running and skipping and dancing through open doors and exploring new places. And, while I believe it helped me ‘move’ through some really deep soul spaces and not get too heavy with it all, it also kept me busy and breathless alot.

So this year when I heard the word ‘fulfilled’ I let out a bit of a sigh. It sounded so nice and relaxing and comforting to me. FULFILLED. Like when you’ve just eaten a big meal and you’re so completely satisfied, and you are in want of nothing. That’s what I think of when I think of the word ‘fulfilled.’ Here’s hoping that also means a bit of REST for this adventure weary soul. That perhaps this will be a year of sitting on my front porch, sipping my iced mocha, while I watch my kids play in the grass and feel completely satisfied. Perhaps I will kick back a little and see the reward of my efforts in 2015.

Let’s hope so. Cuz that was CRAZY, and I’m a wee tiny bit tired and out of breath over here.

Do you have a word for this year? What does it mean to you? Please share it in the comments…I’d love to hear it!

A Letter to Thee Ole 2013.

Dear Two Thousand Thirteen,

It’s been real.

It’s beeen good and bad and hard and wonderful.

And I would like to take this time to say…”thank you.” (I guess??)

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FIRST…

You started out with a bang, when my huzbun and I discovered the “happy little surprise” of another baby being added to our family! Yeah. A bit reckless, perhaps, but you proved yourself pretty epic right from the start.

Not much time though for celebrating! You pushed me directly out of my newly-pregnant nest and off to Vegas for a blogging convention, all by my big girl self. Something I never thought I would do, but you were ballsy like that. I grew tremendously during those four days and my blog grew like crazy after that.

BUT THEN…

Then you took our dear Johnny, and we cried. God, we cried! My heart hurt worse from that, than my stomach did from the morning sickness. And yet you moved us on. Abandoned to the cause of stripping us down. Of wrecking us further into love and plunging us deeper into faith.

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Oh, but you had your moments of splendor. Like when I sank my toes into that Maui sand for seven of your 365 days. Not only that, but I got to do it with one of my favorite people: John. That trip sure brought the laughter back into my world. And I sure was lovin you!

Then you turned sentimental on me, with the un-expected finding of old journals , and a long-awaited trip to childhood, in which I got to make Easter eggs with my favorite kiddos.

(You always had a way of evoking emotion, right when I needed it, didn’t you?!)

Your Spring was divine, and so was the day I discovered that it’s a boy!

I loved your summer and your gardens and the way your nights stayed warm. I even liked your rain! I got in more coffee shop writing and more rainy night snuggles than I ever could have wanted. And consequently, more blogging than I ever could have dreamed of.

Those were exciting times! I wrote about everything from my journey to health to chocolate chia pudding to getting on the back of a horse again. And I watched my blog go from one follower to one hundred, in just a few months!

UH HUH. Pretty ridic! And I have you, my dear 2013 to thank for that.

You had your hardships, too, yes you did.

You ended the summer about as brutally as you ended my sister’s marriage, with tears and rain all mixed together, and you hacked at many other relationships, including my own, until only a few remained.

By the end of my pregnancy, you had challenged my life, my sanity, and my health more than ever.

And it was all I could do to breathe.

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But then he came! And I got to meet my son for the very first time! His paper-thin skin brushed against my chest and and I felt happier than I had ever been.

So happy, in fact that I hardly noticed the fog and the poop and the chaos that ensued. So happy, in fact that I almost missed the fall altogether! I think I woke up around October.

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Just in time to discover this cute little farmer’s market slash coffee shop, on the edge of town. Just in time for beautiful sunsets and birthday celebrations and…

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the best Christmas ever. (Btw, my five-year-old daughter took these two pictures, isn’t she amazing??!!)

So yeah.

You’ve been pretty stinkin WILD!

And yes. I do want to thank you!

Thank you for the lessons learned and the growth that I’ve experienced. Thank you for the tears, the happy and the sad ones. Thank you for the gifts of life and new beginnings.

And most of all, thank you for ending!

Adios, twenty thirteen. Peace be with you!

Love,

your fren-emy forever,

Ruthie